26 Years
I kind of forgot to mention it on the blog, but yesterday was my birthday! Thank you to everyone who took the time to message me good wishes, but don’t feel bad if you missed it!
I actually never throw myself birthday parties because I hate being the centre of attention. Yes, I realize the hypocrisy of that because I write a blog centred around myself. I just prefer not to see the eyes looking at me. Also, if we’re being really truthful here, I have a small fear that if I were to throw a party no one would show up.
Instead, I spent January 23rd my favourite way – low key with just a few good people.
That included a lunch out with friends. We checked out a newer gastro pub in Moncton called the Tide & Boar. Apparently they have famous poutine made with boar meat, but I didn’t want to fill myself up for the day at noon.
I instead ordered haddock breaded in panko and parmesan with a fennel coleslaw (that had amazing fried capers) and a house salad with roast veggies and granola. I can’t wait to come back and try out the rest of their unique menu!
The girls got me flowers among other things! So sweet. I’m not a girly-girl on many levels, but I love getting flowers.
One thing I wanted to do on my birthday that was a non-negotiable was take my dog for a walk.
I’d say 37% of the reason why I got a dog was just so I would have something to walk! Buster and I did our usual 3-mile route. It’s always one of my favourite parts of the day.
And then what’s a birthday without my MOM? Who would tell me the story of my birth for the 26th time? She said she’d make me anything I wanted for dinner and now that my food restrictions are over the first thing I requested was CHEESE. Since it’s not the best idea to eat a pound of old cheddar with a fork, we decided on a lasagna instead.
My mom’s lasagna is the best! This time around she used kamut noodes, bison meat, and packed it full of veggies. With a Greek salad (my favourite) on the side.
But the cake? Making that was entirely up to me. Making my own cake every year is one of my favourite traditions! Here’s what I made in 2009, 2010, and 2011.
I’m not a fan of traditional cakes, I always go for something a little different. This year it was chocolate chip cookie cake.
I used this recipe to make the cake. I even screwed up the directions and it still turned out great.
I went to make little decorations on top with vanilla bean buttercream frosting, and the ziploc bag I was piping out of exploded all over the cake!! So full-on icing it was.
Guess I should buy a proper piping bag with some of my birthday money.
Chocolate chip cookies are hands down my favourite dessert, so this was an easy sell. I actually liked the thin layer of icing and the cake is choc full of chocolate chips.
Dinner was followed by plenty of talking, yelling, and laughing with my family. All while the dogs played and played and played.
Buster and my mom’s new puppy already love each other.
Overall, it was the best kind of day I could ask for. My energy levels are still low so I took care not to cram too much in. Instead I’ll do other bits of celebrating throughout the week. It’s funny, because usually I turn a year older and am amazed by how time passes and how I’m suddenly so old. Not this year. Having cancer made me realize just how young I really am. 26 years is just a fraction of the life I hope to live.
A Blogger’s Travels
Surprise! I’m blogging on a Saturday. Truth is I just have the time this morning to sit down and write. Weekends are typically my favourite time to catch up on blogs, e-mails, and various other things. While listening to CBC radio and drinking coffee out of the largest mug I own… of course.
Anyways, I wanted to note that today, January 21st marks one month since my last chemo!! Officially the longest I’ve gone without chemo since beginning in July 2011. Before this, it was common to wait three weeks in between treatments.
A lot of people ask me how I’m feeling now that it’s been so long. The answer, as always, is complicated. I feel great and yet I don’t feel great all at the same time.
With each week that passes, I find I have more energy than the week before. I’m getting out of the house more, exercising more, I’m even doing a few more chores. But with the bouts of energy, still come the crashes. While my “ups” are much better and longer than they used to be, they are still much more short-lived than that of a normal person. And my “down” energy times are still borderline crippling.
The best way to explain it is to use the spoon theory. I’m not sure if I really have any more spoons, but instead it just takes a little more to use one up. When I run out of spoons, the feeling is no different than before. I’m stuck to lying in bed so fatigued I can barely move. This first month without chemo has made me realize what a long process recovering from the poisons is going to be. Now I really understand how people can say it takes months to get any semblance of normalcy back.
With that said however, I’m bound and determined to get some things done in these months as I recover. Namely, TRAVEL!
I would have never labelled myself as an avid traveller before, but having to go a year without going anywhere made me realize how much I really do travel and how much I rely on it! I have a few things on the horizon that I am super stoked on.
1. Halifax, Nova Scotia.
Okay, so Halifax is only a 2.5 hour drive from Moncton. But my friend gave me a Garrison growler (ie. jug o’ beer) and we made plans to go to Halifax to get it filled to celebrate when I’m cancer-free. If I get a clear scan next week, the trip could be very soon! I love Halifax (my mom grew up there) and have a handful of friends there, so I think it will make for a perfect first trip.
2. Toronto, Ontario.
View from the CN Tower!
Ideally, I’d like to take a long weekend trip to my old stomping grounds in March/April depending on how I’m feeling and how work is going. I’d have taken a trip back a looooong time ago had I not gotten sick. I miss my friends there! And the food!
3. Boulder, Colorado.
Ever since travelling to the Canadian Rockies with Holly and Karen, I’ve had an itch to go south and see what the Rockies are like in the U.S. Coincidentally, when a group of bloggers decided to arrange a weekend of hanging out, they chose Colorado as the location! The BLEND Retreat is May 4-6 and will basically be one big blogger party. No sessions or conferences to get to, just spending time together and tackling some mountains! Some of my best blog friends are already signed up to go, but I know there are spots left. I encourage any bloggers out there to check it out! As Lindsay says, you can always make more money, you’ll never be able to replicate this kind of weekend. If you’re worried about not knowing anyone, you’ll know ME. And we can be awkward together.
4. Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia.
Ever since being diagnosed with cancer, I’ve been reading about these survivor retreats and wishing I could be a survivor already and go take part. Well, by July I should hopefully still be in remission so I signed up to take part in the Young Adult Cancer Canada “Retreat Yourself” on the East Coast. Registration was free and I’m lucky that it’s close enough I can drive. I’ve never been to Cape Breton, so I’m excited to check out its beauty, get some outdoor activity in, and of course connect with other cancer patients/survivors my age who will get my cancer jokes. If you’re a Canadian young adult cancer survivor, you should check this one out!
Well, I wanted to share some of the treats that have been coming out of my kitchen, but I feel like I’ve written enough, so I will save that for another post. Instead, here is a picture of Buster carrying around his much-too-big-for-him teddy bear.
Have a great weekend!
I’ll Be In The Home Gym
I went ahead and disappeared for a few days 1) Because I’ve been watching far too many episodes of The Wire and The IT Crowd, and 2) I’ve been playing in my new home gym!
“Home gym” used lightly here as it is still very much a work in progress. I set it up in an empty room in my dad’s house and there’s still equipment to add and clutter to clear out.
I’m really, really excited about it because I’m not allowed to work out in a regular gym due to my weakened immune system from chemo. When the weather was nice and I was feeling more sick, I was okay with getting my exercise with long walks. But now that we’re down to the minus double digits and I’m getting small bursts of energy again, I’ve got the bug to get some real workouts in!
For cardio, I’ve got my dad’s recumbent bike and my new elliptical. So far I am completely in love with the elliptical. It’s a real treat to just saunter downstairs and get my cardio in while watching whatever I want on television. I call it my “investment piece” based on what I’ll save on a gym membership in the long run. Plus, the equipment may come in handy down the road if I ever want to do personal training outside of a gym environment.
For strength, I got a bench, barbell, and weight plates for free from my step-dad. I already owned the confused looking dog.
There’s also light dumbbells, mats, skip rope, exercise ball, and a foam roller that I had already acquired over the years. Eventually I’d like to get some heavier dumbbells and kettlebells. I’ve also got a road bike and indoor trainer for it, but I’m in no rush to set it up with my broken arm and all. I’m going to try the Couch to 5k running program when the ice melts.
I have to say, starting to seriously workout again after six months of chemotherapy is rough. Way more rough than when I first started getting into fitness after years of smoking and drinking too much beer.
Among the many awful things chemo does, it also breaks down muscle mass. I used to shoulder press with 25 lb dumbbells, and now I’m struggling with 5 lbs! It’s really quite remarkable. And not in a good way.
I also suffered from lung toxicity over the course of chemo and I don’t feel like my lungs are quite where they were when I was healthy. My cardiovascular fitness has gotten pretty bad too. But I can’t push it too hard in case there is still a tumour wrapped around the vein that pumps blood into my heart.
Of course, there’s the added issue of my left elbow looking like this the last time we checked:
I’ve gained a lot of strength and movement in that arm over the past several months, but it’s nowhere close to being where it was before the skating accident. I still can’t bear a lot of weight on it. A push up for example is impossible. Even doing repetitions with light weights can be painful.
With aaalllll of that said, I’m really quite excited. Fitness used to be my life, and participating in it again makes me feel like me. It gives me a sense of normalcy that I so desperately crave. Plus, the endorphins do wonders for my mood. I’ll keep you updated as time goes on in the quest to get my fitness back. Maybe I’ll even update that ole’ workout page with some new workouts again!
